Beta Blockers

by Frida
(Pacific Northwest)

I'm surprised no one has mentioned beta blockers. I know it's a controversial subject, but I think beta blockers are a useful tool for some of us. In my case, panic syndrome was so extreme, it was impossible to "practice performing." Vertigo, shaking, nausea and blurred vision simply didn't allow me to play notes in front of others. After a few experiences of being completely disabled, you don't want to go there again!

I tackled this problem through panic workshops and workbooks, and therapy (a kind of vision quest thing). These helped my understanding of the problem, but in the end I also resorted to using a beta blocker.

At first, I used the beta blocker even to perform for 1 or 2 friends or family members, as I gradually got used to playing in front of others.

Now the beta blocker is only necessary for "public" performances, because it's very true that experiencing performing for others will gradually make it easier. My first performances were preceded by days, even weeks, of feeling nauseous and vertiginous, but thankfully that doesn't happen anymore, at least not days in advance. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I still have fairly intense performance anxiety, and always will, but it's manageable. I'm not sure I could have gotten here without the use of beta blockers.

By the way, I'm in my mid-fifties, and have worked with this problem since returning to piano about 6 years ago. As a student in college, I gave up music because of performance anxiety.